A long term friend and companion and I, parted company today. I am bereft, but it was at his own request and it was my duty to honor his final wish. It would have been selfish of me to make him stay longer, it was his time.
Sam and I meet over 14 year’s ago, he introduced himself to me. He ended up coming to stay in my home and becoming part of my family. My children where seven, ten and thirteen at the time, so he at 6 months grew up alongside them. He went through his teenage years as they all do, but soon grew into adulthood. My children shared there childhood and young adult lives with Sam, he was their friend and confidante.
Times passes quickly, one day he was a young dog, suddenly he had a full grey face. The children had all left, for collage or other things so even thou we have other dogs, Sam was my companion, my secret keeper, my house elf. In all the years Sam had been with us vets visits had been really non existent.Than they became the norm, I suddenly realised he was old,he was over 98 in our years.
So today he told me he had enough, I made the arrangement’s and off we went, us two together. He was calm, and poised, as if to tell me it was OK. He didn’t waver, not once and so as his friend, I held him in my arms as he said goodbye. It was peaceful, calm and serene and as I lay my head on his chest, I knew I had done him proud. He had chosen his time and he had left with grace and dignity. He was now the controller of his own destiny, without illness and pain.
Well as for me, I am Sam less, I held on for as long as I could but then the pain exploded from deep within my chest. I thought I had split open, with the waves of pain that came flowing out. My breathe was caught so tight, that I felt I would never breath again. There was a tsunami of tears, I feared that I would be washed away when it receded. Then suddenly, there was a calmness.
I am sure the calmness is just the eye of the storm, and there will be many more days of Storm Sam. The pain is horrendous and why would it not be, you have lost a friend, a family member. Would I change it, No, it was our pleasure and privilege to have Sam in our family, and it is worth every pang of pain.
Featured Image by :Orla O’Regan Power